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Forget all the stories that dating agencies are spreading about marrying a Russian girl. Yes, you can find a woman 30 years younger, and even can marry her, but your marriage will rarely last for more than 2 years - the necessary time for receiving a Green Card.

The majority of Russian women seeking western men are NOT desperate to find foreign husbands or immigrate from Russia. Those women are usually well educated, attractive and smart. They are not after the Green Card or passports as you might think. They seek compatible partners.

Normally, women from Russia are looking for healthy, financially secure, attractive guys. Very few of them (if any!) are dreaming to get married to homeless, ugly men with bad character and health problems who struggle with everyday survival. Personally, I've never in my life met such an example but I assume that crazy individuals may exist.

If 10-15 years ago any foreigner could easily find in Russia a beautiful young intelligent lady 30 years younger than him, who was eager to become his wife, those times have passed forever.

If you have read some "happily ever after" stories that took place more than 5 years ago, those rules are no longer working: the world is changing fast, and today's Russia is nothing like you have seen in the movies of the times of the Cold War. Remember, Perestroika in Russia started in 1985, that was 20 years ago!

You may agree with this fact, or disagree, or fight against of it, but it won't change the reality: your foreign passport alone does not ensure your success with Russian ladies.


What is the most important for Russian ladies?

Many websites will tell you the same thing that I am going to say now: SECURITY and LOVE.

Those two things are the most important. I have read thousands of women's forms with requirements to a potential partner, and almost all of them say: "I want my future husband to love and understand me."

The most popular requirement you will see in women's questionnaires is "financially secure". In short, it means, you must have at least a stable job and be able to provide for a family of 3.

You don't have to have a six-figure annual income. Having a stable job is good enough; but the better your financial situation, the easier you will make contacts with nice Russian ladies, and the less hassle you will get from the USCIS (former INS) in bringing your fiancée into the country.

IN NO WAY DOES THIS MEAN THAT RUSSIAN WOMEN ARE AFTER YOUR MONEY. Definitely not! However, women have suffered so much in Russia with everyday surviving, they want to make sure it never happens to them and their families again. A Russian wife will stick with you through any turn of fortune, whether you go bankrupt or hit a jackpot. But to consider you a viable option, she must be confident that you are not an unemployed hobo.

Your good financial standing may impress women at first, but then the other factors will count: you must develop a relationship that works, and this involves mostly emotional factors. I know a case where a woman refused a guy with a 500K income in favor of an ordinary teacher, because she liked him more personally. From the sidelines it may seem stupid, but I would probably do the same if I were her.

Your wealth or handsome appearance may possibly even have a negative effect. I know cases where a woman did not try to pursue an acquaintance to a rich, good-looking guy who was highly interested in her just because she didn't consider herself good enough. He seemed too good to be true to her, and this made her feel insecure.

Love for Russian women includes commitment. Since long distance relationships don't make much sense without possibility of being together in the future, the women need assurance you are ready to offer this commitment. If you are not looking for a marriage partner, Russian ladies won't take you seriously. They are not looking for pen pals.

Women in Russia grow wise at young age, and having relationship with foreign men of their own age is like having affair with a teenager.

 

What age difference is acceptable for Russian ladies?

5-15 years difference is perfectly normal. I personally know a few couples who married under these conditions. The age difference between spouses I know is 9, 10, 12, 13 and 18 years.  They are all women who have not been married previously, and did not have children. The age difference between my husband and I is 12.5 years.

Many of my clients said they were surprised at receiving letters from attractive professional women (doctors, economists, accountants) 10-15 years younger than themselves. In the USA., this age gap is beyond reality. In your search for a Russian wife, it is not. I think one of the reasons is that women in Russia grow wise at a younger age, and having a relationship with a foreign man of their own age is like having affair with a teenager. Difficulties in life make people thoughtful, the same way that age does. The age difference also adds to their feeling of security.

On the other hand, you must not have unrealistic expectations. If you are in your late 50's or 60's, you must not expect to find a 20-year old single girl. Many wonderful, attractive ladies in their late 30s or 40s will be eager to make your acquaintance; half of marriage agencies' female clients belong to this age group, and you won't have problems with attracting their attention. This is realistic.

In special cases if you are very good looking, or very intelligent/rich/famous, you can make it with an age difference of 20 years or more. But it will be an exception, not the rule.

If your aim is a lifetime commitment, be sure to take age issues into consideration. Dating agencies love to tell stories about Russian ladies preferring much older husbands, and that it won't affect your marriage; but that's exactly what these tales are - stories.

I believe you are big enough to face reality and resist the temptation to pursue myths. Be lead by common sense, and don't let yourself be fooled by young entrepreneurs from the matrimonial industry.

Virtually all women will not have a problem with age difference up to 10 years, and many find acceptable age difference up to 15 years, a few will be OK with age difference up to 20 years. But anything beyond this will put you on a very thin ice, and you are likely to encounter problems in your search.

I must also say that acceptable age difference for Russian women is plummeting with every year. The more foreign men seek partners in Russia, the better choice women have, the higher their requirements become.

Young girls tend to be less worried about difference in age than older women: a girl of 20 years old is normally interested in men up to 45, whilst a woman of 40 years old will usually limit her search to men under 55. Thus, if you are 48, a girl of 27 years old may consider you a suitable candidate and a girl of 35 may decide you are too old for her.

The thing is, women in Russia want to have family and children real bad, and this is the main reason pushing them to seek husbands elsewhere, since in Russia there is officially only 88 males for 100 females (see Statistics). According to Russian cultural paradigm, a woman should be married with children; being single is a shame. Any woman who is unmarried at the age of 22 is considered as "old maid"

Women 22-33 want to start family as soon as possible. The pick of the society's pressure on the woman to get married is at the age of 27; after that her family and friends start thinking she will never get married and give up on her; she herself also starts getting used to the idea she will never have her own family. Once women become content with the idea of never getting married, their requirements to a prospective partner soar. Just getting married to avoid the shame of being single is already not enough for them.

 

A good idea is to let women contact you directly. In this case you receive information "from the first hands", unedited, unrestricted.

 

Make the right choice

First of all, you must understand that each Russian woman has her own character and what is perfect for one won't work for another.

You should decide for yourself what you are looking for in a woman, which personal qualities are a must and what you will never accept. What kind of person would you like to meet - a partygoer, a sportswoman, a career maker, a housewife? Must she be an introvert or an extrovert? Try to imagine her behavior in different situations. Think about the person you will feel comfortable with. You must have her image in your mind.

When you look through catalogues, pay special attention to women's professions. The profession she chose may say a lot about her. People with the same occupation usually have many things in common. Also look at her choice of education - this is what she chose herself. Keep in mind that her current job may simply be a result of circumstances. 

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